I am certifiably ________ (you fill in the blank)!

I am certifiably _______________ (you fill in the blank).  I realize I must be totally crazy. It is freezing outside and I went out with the idea of ostensibly picking up a few twigs left in the aftermath of heavy winds, recent tree trimming, etc.  I got outside, took a gander at my estate (this statement alone makes me certifiably _________), miniscule as it is, pulled the leaf grabbing net off the pond, realized I had a koi that hasn’t survived this part of the winter, tried to take it out, could not because of the ice covering and started picking up twigs.  I realized during my view of the pond that the new apparatus to keep a “blowhole” in the ice is working, so I am wondering what killed my eight inch fish.

Anyhow, went up front, the wind is blowing in typical Chicago fashion and I decided to rake.  Thought I would get me a little workout since I wasn’t hitting the gym today, hadn’t managed to fit myself into the time window that the gym has today.  Raking was exhilarating, but my fingers started freezing despite my gloves, so I came in for a breather and hand warm up.  I bet everyone knew keyboarding is great to get the blood flowing in the fingers, so here I am.

I am going out in a few minutes to complete the job.  Ali accompanied me and was so unhelpful to my venture.  I am wondering if she and Mary Kay have some sort of silent dog/person contract to keep tabs on me and/or maybe keep me busy.  No sooner had I started raking the lawn that Ali went in the back yard and located a branch somewhere which she pulled out into the front and proceeded to tear it apart.  Is this in the master plan for my yard cleanup?  A dog hell bent on keeping me in my aerobic pursuit of bits of wood?  Mary Kay, did you pay her in dog treats?

While doing all this I am pleased to say that I am using my latest iPhone app which allows me to hear a pop music station in France, NRJ.  It is kind of funny listening to so much American music that is introduced in fast deejay French and a real treat to bide my outdoor time.  Right now, they are playing a song that has nothing more than orchestral music interrupted every few minutes by an Anglo saying, “Barbra Streisand.”  Odd, to say the least.

Okay, my fingers are warm and I think I should continue my workout.  Later!


3 responses to “I am certifiably ________ (you fill in the blank)!

  1. Richard, You are certifiably a good Father. My Dad has been there for me too. I read every blog 1-12 of travels with Mikey. I feel like I know your family intimately. It was a decision I agree with to blog about the hard stuff not just the easy. When I retraced my last thirty-one years in my memoir, “Sum Lucid.” Sum in Latin means “I am.” Lucid means sane. Being diagnosed with bipolar in my late teens I always had to prove to people, my parents, my friends that I am sane. Dual diagnosis is common with bipolar, so I also struggled with drugs. I am in a good place now, practicing yoga on a daily basis, writing poetry, and working on my health through diet. While writing the book, I sometimes felt sick and sometimes it spun me to a therapeutic meditative state of mind. California has its allures, but location is not the key to addiction. Mikey will get there, be a good Father, and he will want to make you proud.

    • Jason,
      Your words have touched me in a way that surprised me. It is like the cliché, the icing on the cake. Every day I get up and wonder what the day is going to bring in terms of handling the situation that has been put on our plate. Soul searching has gone on almost without my knowledge, it has become like breathing, I don’t even think about it. I am convinced that every Koerner has been doing the same. Each and every participant in our drama has brought something to the table, something for us all to share, something for us all to meditate on. Life is a journey and it is very difficult when you are alone. We are not alone, that is very evident from the consistent outpouring of support from everywhere, even from across the Atlantic. Your journey, as hard as it was and is, is an example of how you can take what you have been given by life and deal with it in a most positive way. I am totally in agreement that location is not the key to addiction, addiction is within, for whatever reason. We all have addictions, we all have things we have to deal with, everyone has a unique set of problems.
      My whole life has been led with the goal of being able to be my best and to make the best of what I have to work with and being a good father was and is on my list of things I must absolutely do my utmost to achieve success. As the existentialists have said, in the end, we shall be judged as a sum of our actions, nothing more. Your words truly make tears come to my eyes and make me think that yes, I am doing my best here to bring home Mikey. I thank you ever so much!
      You are in a very good place, hang on to it with every bit of strength you can muster. I trust that you shall, I sense it in your words!

  2. Pingback: Soul searching on Day Thirteen of rehab « Thoughts of a pretired French Teacher

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